Being Surprised At What You Know
By the age of forty it’s easy to believe your brain cells have atrophied and that on a bad day you make Jade Goody sound like Albert Einstein on steroids. But it’s worth reminding yourself that you do in fact know a remarkable number of things, all completely unrelated and useless of course, but bound to impress any group of six-year-olds who are thinking of becoming pub quiz champions:
· The plural of ‘phenomenon’.
· Every number one record from 1970 to 1980.
· The correct use of the apostrophe.
· The right ‘its’.
· How to calculate swimming pool capacities on the basis of the number of saucepans of water needed.
· The rules for using a Bunsen burner.
· The creators of Crossroads.
· At least one medieval English monarch.
· The colours of the prism.
· The names of every Cup Final winner from 1985 to the present.
· At least six theories on what The Magic Roundabout is really meant to be about.
· How to address a Bishop.
· The correct use of ‘sincerely’ and ‘faithfully’ when writing unctuously to your bank manager about an overdraft.
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